Why you cannot build a relationship

Why you cannot build a relationship

There’s no mystery or mysticism in the formula for true love. As the classic wrote, “all happy families are like each other.” If you are comfortable being alone with your loved one, you are in the most that neither is a happy relationship with a favorable prediction for the future.

However, not everyone is able to reveal himself to a partner. Many are hampered by education, acquired complexes, the fear of loneliness. 

I’m afraid I won’t meet anyone else

The great Persian philosopher Omar Khayyam adored women, but even he understood that it is better to be alone “than with anyone”. The formula “tolerates – falls in love” does not work these days, including for a very large amount of money. Sooner or later you will have regrets from the series “ah, if only”, and you will begin to feel nostalgic about the lost opportunities and look left with interest.

This, by the way, concerns not only love, but also friendship. If the relationship initially encourages you not to recognize each other, but to adapt, the chances of successful development are very modest. Acting on personal interests and persuading yourself to be patient in order not to return to loneliness, you risk directing your story to a sad ending.

I can change him

Actually, it sounds weird. So you admit that the person is not right for you, but you choose him. It’s almost like, “I want this dress, it’s cool, but it’s not much, but I can lose weight.” What’s the point of buying if it doesn’t fit right now? What if when you lose weight, you find a cooler dress? What if you don’t lose weight? Before you decided to pay for that dress, maybe you had no idea.

When you enter a relationship for which you hope to change, you must recognize the vulnerability of that partnership. Do you think you’ll enjoy being one or the one who’s not good enough? A lot of suffering of those who come to me for help is associated with denial of each other’s shortcomings. Both unbalanced parties in this partnership – who are never wrong or always wrong – make emotional friction central to the relationship instead of giving in to reality and accepting each other for who they are.

Reaching a point where you are ready to accept all the pros and cons is often a matter of time. The impressive percentage of reunions of former partners confirms – those who have overcome the maximalist stage where it is important to present yourself or your partner in an ideal light are ready to create strong couples.

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